LongHaul: I am very attracted to a woman who is in the process of getting divorced. There is a mutual attraction there...but at times, she seems to make an overly aggressive effort at saying things like she has no interest in falling in love or being involved in a commitment of any kind whatsoever. Yet, when we're together, she ACTS the opposite of what she says....Any insight?
LUVCOACH: It sounds like she would like very much to have you around while she goes through her changes in life. I hope you have taken her words very seriously. She is telling you that so you will have no expectations of a future with her no matter how long the relationship goes on. Are you in it just for the sex?
LongHaul: Surprisingly (to me)....no.
LUVCOACH: Then are you prepared to go on the roller coaster ride of your life....with an unsure person just starting new?
LongHaul: For what I consider to be a good woman, yes. I realize that I don't really know..everything about her yet. The last month or so has been a ride like you say.
LUVCOACH: It’s just the beginning...
LongHaul: What is her motivation when she starts pushing me away when I try to show that I care for her? The beginning of..?
LUVCOACH: She knows she will end up hurting you...she is just saying, "I am going to leave you eventually when I am ready to move on to someone I want to spend the rest of my life with ...Is it going to be OK with you if we have fun and keep each other company for now?"
LongHaul: ...and if I find that I can weather this stage?.....then what?
LUVCOACH: She needs time to heal...She knows you love her and she is spending time with a good man who will not hurt her. This is the way she is healing. I strongly suggest you watch yourself here John....
LongHaul: ...hmm...guess what you're saying is, "dig in for the long haul?" Why?
LUVCOACH: It is interesting you hear me suggesting you dig in for the long haul. I meant just the opposite. She has clearly told you that you are not the right one for her.
Helpful suggestion: If you are looking for a long term relationships I suggest you do not take this a challenge to win her over. Have more respect for yourself and find a woman who is available and wants to be with you as much as you want to be with her.
The LuvCoach is a talk radio and television show host, author and professional speaker. Do you have a question for the LuvCoach? If so, EMail him at firstname.lastname@example.org,
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