Want to Meet Someone Special?
I think all the online dating services are a wonderful way to meet someone. It is rarely the services themselves that result in problems. It is the approach some of the off-balance participants that create difficulties.
I believe that many of the people who have gone off the deep end with the dating services are the ones that have become “addicted” to them. By addicted I mean, they have become dependent upon their smart phone to create social situations for themselves. They don’t do it once a week or once a day. They scan the several dating services they belong to for pictures of total strangers they know nothing about on a minute to minute basis, hoping that the next sexually alluring, or financially successful looking person they come across…will be “the one.”
That brings up my “Pie Theory.” To briefly summarize it, we as humans only have so much energy or soul to offer people when we first meet them. If we had our hearts broken when we were younger, the piece of our pie we offer future mates goes down drastically. If we date several times a week, hoping that the love of our life is just around the corner, we get rejected and disappointed on a regular basis.
When we find out the one we are with this very moment is rarely “the one,” we constantly distrust who we are with and look over our shoulder for the next one. Frustration levels increase as it appears that this great system for meeting someone may not save us from our loneliness. They soon some to terms with they feeling that, at well thought out impersonal and wholesale system of meeting does work and will never work.
That is not to say that two people cannot meet, make made passionate love and decide because of that great sex, or upon discovering that the person interested in them is wealthy, that they can’t get married. Of course they can. The catch is, being married does not mean you are happy or will ever be happy.
The way it has worked for 5000 years and continues to work for fewer and fewer people is, to meet someone and get to know them on a more cautious, slower pace. (More about that in other articles.)
I suggest a good way to meet someone is to spend quality time with them and observe them over a period of time. As a relationship coach and presenter, my goal is to create stimulating opportunities for interesting men and women to come together for more than just a few moments, an hour or even a couple of hours. I am planning “heart-opening” three-day weekend gatherings where relationship minded people can come together and get to know each other over a more intimate, longer period of time.
My advice is to slow down and re-group. Don’t speed up as so many are doing. Slow down!
If you would like to learn more about the value of spending quality time with new people, contact me at: firstname.lastname@example.org. Sign-up for our newsletter and share how you met a loved one and your story may be featured in our newsletter and blog.