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Another sub-title for the book could be, "How We Became Players Instead of Lovers."
It is a relationship book to help people return to their natural state of love. I hope you take an interest in reading this book that took me 30 years to complete.
Bruce Starr ~ The Luvcoach
How It All Started
I was a fun-loving single person for the first half of my life. 1993 was a very important year for me because it was the first year I started sharing what I had already learned about relationships. It all started when I host my very first show on WNN, the highly respected “Winners News Network” in South Florida. That same year, I was introduced to America Online, which had only 200,000 subscribers at the time.
A Hollywood producer friend of mine told me that by opening a room on AOL, I could reach and communicate with many more people than I ever imagined. So one night at about 2:00 A.M., I couldn’t sleep. I rolled out of bed and turned on my computer. That night, I discovered for the first time the miracle of online chat rooms.
I somehow figured out how to create and open a room called “RelationshipCoaching.” I realized the very subject that most impassioned me, that excited thousands of my radio listeners, was right under my nose. I learned from the people who chatted in these rooms about their husbands and wives, lovers and quarrels, hopes and dreams, also wanted some clarity to make their lives work better. I resolved I would continue to open my own chat room where I could listen and share some of the knowledge I had learned over the years about having more complete, fulfilling relationships. Little did I know that this commitment would change my life forever.
Being single at that time, I chose to spend a lot of my spare time online helping others with the knowledge I had already accumulated from my own fifteen-year self-study about love, sex and dating. A little voice in my head said, “do it without asking anyone for money. It will all work out.”
Ten Years Later
By 2003, I accumulated over 6000 detailed, intimate and documented on-line discussions as the original Luvcoach on AOL. I know I helped a lot of people over the years, but what was most interesting was how similar so many stories were in one particular way.
I found a vast majority of people told me about the same kind of problem. They explained to me how their hearts had been broken and now they looked for other reasons to date others than the search for true love. With their hearts safely tucked away (or so they thought) they started looking for the “best deal” they could find. Some chose to push themselves to earn as much money as possible so they could attract the best looking or sexy mate. Others made themselves look as desirable as possible so they could attract the person who could best keep them in the lifestyle they so want to live.
The reason I wrote this book was to report that thousands of people let me know something that has never been written about in any other book. They told me that the reason they chose someone was that they thought a person looked like they offered the “best deal” to serve their needs. This seemingly ideal substitution for a relationship came with unexpected and damaging drawbacks.
So many reported that they chose this path because they were afraid to take a chance on love and get their heart broken. I am here to tell you that an entire generation of people became more stimulated by the intellectual challenge of pursuing someone and winning them over than by anything else. They knowingly or unknowingly became obsesses with making it a priority to look for the best deal or trade they could come across. Some used to call this "horsetrading. Their philosophy is, " I'll give you what you want if you have enough of what I want!" I call this “Bodytrading!
This approach for the search for happiness does not work and will not ever work. Anyone who has been hurt and is tired of the game attempting to make it work will want to read this book. Those who have not yet loved will be able to learn from other people's mistakes who are pursuing relationships that lack depth and commitment. With this new information, those wanting intimacy again will be able to venture out and take a chance on love and life again.
The book will help with insights that will save people years of frustration and heartbreak. “The book a step by step guide that will allow us to return to something we all crave in our lives and may not even know it....love! This book will help any single or relationships minded person wanting to let go of destructive, empty, gameplaying relationships, feel strong enough to want to feel love in their hearts again in a healthy relationship.
I am a researcher. For the last forty-five years, I have been doing what I have a passion for. I have been searching for the answers to the question, ''what is the greatest problem today in the world of relationships?'' I did this not being a Ph.D. because I believe that if the answers to modern-day relationship problems could be found in conventional psychotherapy books, we would be living in a better, healthier and happier society by now. Instead, we are more troubled and unhappy than ever before.
I have independently and through fairly unconventional methods, come to learn the most challenging obstacles for two people to find each other and share a life of love and devoted companionship. The dynamics describing why it has become increasingly difficult to have love is one not yet written about...until now. ”A completed e-book with 180 pages – 43,000 words.
I believe that: ''As I go, so goes the world. If I can change just one heart at a time from bitterness to love, there will be less war and more peace in the world.''
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